| I have to tell you, when I made
the decision to take the path of these steps, I
was saying to myself "I will NEVER be able
to do that", about these two steps.
"Made a list of all persons we had harmed
and became willing to make amends to them
all". I was thinking "I'm not
doing that, I didn't do anything, what about what
THEY did to ME"? Through
the steps that I had taken before reaching this
point, my thinking had changed. I could now
see that, if I wanted to live a life free of
anger, resentment, fear, I was going to have to
set some things straight, make amends to some
people I had caused harm to. There is a new
understanding at this point, one that gives us
compassion for ourselves as to the harm we have
caused to others. I was not
"blaming" myself, I had a new
understanding as to who I was and why I made
decisions based in fear and anger. I was on
a path, one that would have me trust the God of
my understanding. My ultimate goal was to
be of maximum service to the God of my
understanding and, in order to get closer to Him,
I had to be free from the wreckage of the past.
So,
I set out to make amends. I went to the
people I had harmed with my head held high, in
God's loving embrace. I did not grovel or
beg for forgiveness. I humbly went to them,
admitting my wrongs and willing to set matters
straight. The exception to this, was
when my admittance would cause harm to
others. I discussed such matters with my
confidant, looking at each situation
individually. We do not sacrifice others in
order to save our own skin. It is
imperative to have an objective "third
party" to help you look at each individual
situation and offer counsel as to what might be
the best way to handle things.
Can't
Take that Away (Mariah's Theme)
Written and Performed by Mariah Carey
Click the
|>| play button to hear the music
It
was at this phase, that I could feel changes
taking place. My life was taking on new
meaning. My fears were falling from
me. I was overcoming the obstacles, and was
experiencing a freedom that was beyond my wildest
dreams. These promises were coming true for
me:
~~
The Promises ~~
If we are
painstaking about this phase of our
development,
we will be amazed before we
are half way through.
 |
We are going to
know a new freedom
and a new happiness.
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We will not
regret the past nor
wish to shut the door on it.
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We will comprehend the word
serenity
and we will know peace.
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No matter how far down the
scale we have gone, we will see how our experiences can benefit others.
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That feeling of uselessness
and self-pity will disappear.
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We will lose interest in
selfish things and gain interest in our
fellows.
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Self-seeking will slip away.
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Our whole attitude and outlook
upon life will change.
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Fear of people and of economic
insecurity will leave us.
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We will intuitively know how
to handle situations which used to baffle us.
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We will suddenly realize that
God is doing for us what we could not do
ourselves.
|
@Alcoholics
Anonymous pp. 83-84
|
It was around
this time, that I made another decision. Remember that
relationship I had promised to let go of for six months?
Well, he was going to be in town for a weekend and he asked if
I would please meet with him. He said there were
some things he needed to say to me. I thought about it,
prayed about it, and talked it over with my spiritual
guide. I made the decision to meet with
him. Actually I didn't make that decision, I felt that
it was necessary for my spiritual growth and I also felt that
it was God's will. I accepted some words of wisdom from
my spiritual guide and promised to keep in close touch with
her, as I didn't want anything to bring me off this spiritual
path. And I went off to meet him. I was not the
same woman I was before, I had a heart full of God, and a new
feeling about myself. I felt that I was ready, and I
believed that God felt I was ready as well.
 
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